I think I should be writing, not blogging. Let me just say that now that I can only hear my inner voice, not my outer voice, I feel less scattered.
However, other sounds impinge more. Channel surfing brought me “Material Girl” by Madonna. Brilliant, honest, unashamed, she has my admiration and my attention. Her song is exactly what I run from in myself: materialistic and proud of it.
I have a strong commitment to being non-materialistic, to putting the non-material elements of life first. I’ve scorned everything that is “just material” and tried to go deeper in what I am and what I strive for. It is very disturbing to note my fascination with the blatant materialism in this song.
To look further at the phenomenon of Madonna, she has made a practice of saying and doing what other people turn away from yet feel drawn to. She is acting out our worst fantasies and people are both attracted and repelled. It’s that old idea of blaming the other: the devil made me do it or the witch put a spell on me. If we didn’t have these feelings we would not be susceptible to them. They come from within.
My shadow is my selfish, materialistic side. I’ve been turning away from it all my life. I still turn away from it, “but I know it’s mine.”